Nothing seems to be working!?

May 21, 2021

Nothing seems to be working!?

The stability of the parental couple around a child is key.

I have been puzzled by a number of young people whom I have been asked to meet and who are struggling within the school structures.

They seem emotionally able in many ways and yet the usual support structures are not providing containment; there does not seem to be any mental health illness, though the child is clearly existing in a fight or flight state more than is understandable.

I have found that the key to helping these young people is often in engaging with their parents.

Schools know a great deal about a child but less about their families. In meeting with parents of such young people I have repeatedly found that one of the parents is struggling with their own mental health issues or there is some marital discord effecting the parents.

A child’s safe place is their home where they go to process their world and day. If this safe space is going through a period of instability it will effect the child’s ability to feel grounded in their world and will make other interactions more precarious and unsettling.

In giving parents the space to recognise this challenge it can help mobilise them to face their own issues and therefore provide the containment their child needs.

An obvious question would be, ‘Is this part of a schools role?’ Many would say, ‘No.’

However to the question, ‘Can the school’s provision of an appropriate intervention with the family have a positive impact on the child’s education and the class room environment?’ The answer would undoubtedly be, ‘Yes.’

Talk to Kate.